I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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