its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
