Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
