She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
