it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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