Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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