Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
