I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
