I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
