stop calling my apartment porn island.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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