I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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