just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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