Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will pee on everything he values.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
