Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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