Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
