I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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