we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
