I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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