i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
