Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
