that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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