One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
