this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
