Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize