No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
