Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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