Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
