It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
