My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
