It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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