im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
