Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
