what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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