i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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