he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my poor anus
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
