it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
