So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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