According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
