I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
