My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
