Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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