if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You are a genius and a whore.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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