my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I want to be your penis for a week.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize