i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
