arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
