How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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