That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
