I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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