dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
