I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
