The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
