then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize