hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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