Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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