All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
