office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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