Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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