why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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