And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
as a side note pls kill me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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