I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I forget how to act sober
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
